Marriage

Congratulations on the decision to make your love a sacrament. Marriage is a gift from God. We will do our best to help you prepare for your wedding and for your married life together.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” – Ephesians 5:25

Church Requirements

Please make contact with one of the priests of the parish in which you LIVE so that Pre-Nuptial Enquiry Forms can be completed and the relevant pre-marriage preparation arranged. Please note that the priest of the bride’s parish has the responsibility of preparing the couple for marriage.

Request a Baptismal Certificate and if necessary a Confirmation certificate from the parish in which you were Baptised/Confirmed. This certificate must be issued within six months of the date of your wedding.

Confirm the arrangements with the priest who is officiating at the wedding. If he is from another diocese or from a religious order, you must forward details of his name, address and telephone number to the parish secretary, so that he can be registered as a temporary officiant in the Derry Diocese.

The priests of the parishes within the city have agreed that to fully prepare for the sacrament of marriage all couples must participate in a pre-marriage course with ACCORD within six months of the marriage date. To book a course visit www.accord.ie or email derry@accordni.com.

If an ACCORD Pre-Marriage Course is unavailable in your area, please contact the Parish Office on 7126 2301 before booking a course with another provider. It is mandatory that all couples intending to celebrate their marriage here in Three Patrons complete a recognised Pre-Marriage Course.

Civil Requirements

Collect a Marriage Notice Application Form from the Registrar of Birth, Deaths and Marriages in the Guildhall. This can be obtained at any time from one year to 28 days prior to the wedding. The minimum period is twenty eight days before the date of the proposed marriage, but if you leave things as late as this you could be faced with the need to postpone your wedding.

Complete and ask the officiating priest to sign the Marriage Notice Application Form. Return the duly completed form to the Registrar. When the Registrar is satisfied there is no legal impediment to the marriage, a Marriage Schedule will be prepared from the information which the parties have supplied. The Schedule is a most important document – no marriage can proceed without it.

The couple must produce their Marriage schedule to the Parish Office at least 3 days prior to the wedding.

It is important to stress that compliance with these regulations is the sole responsibility of the couple not the priest. If these civil requirements are not met NO WEDDING CAN TAKE PLACE. We would advise you therefore to make contact with your local Registrar’s Office and they will instruct you on the necessary procedures.

Rehearsals usually take place 2 to 3 days prior to the wedding at a time that is mutually agreeable between the couple, the priest and the church. The wedding rehearsal can be booked by telephoning the Parochial House and usually takes place immediately before (i.e. 6pm) or directly after (i.e. 8pm) evening Mass on a weekday.

The Ceremony will begin at the time arranged so it is important that everyone arrives on time. This allows for maximum time for your wedding. There may be other events in the Long Tower after your wedding e.g. another wedding, baptisms etc. Your booking is from 15 minutes before the time of the wedding to 1 hour afterwards e.g. 1.00pm wedding – 12.45 pm to 2.00 pm. The Long Tower has a busy schedule with many events each day. Late arrival causes a knock-on effect that upsets everyone.

Most wedding photographers and videographers are professional, reverent and discreet. We simply ask that they refrain from using extra lights or delaying the arrival of the bride, and that they limit their movements during the Mass.

Three Patrons does not require flowers to make it beautiful; therefore we encourage simplicity in floral arrangements. If you wish to have some flowers you may contact our parish flower arranger, Patricia McCormack (7135 4606). She will advise and give details of the cost. Floral decorations which are attached to the seats (by tie-bows not sticky tape or tacks) should be remove immediately after the ceremony.

The Wedding Ceremony takes place within a liturgical context. Liturgy is public worship before God and so the music you choose for your wedding must reflect the sacredness of the event and be fitting for worship. It is important, therefore, that the music you choose is worthy of such a celebration and that the lyrics acknowledge the presence of Christ, the Unseen Guest, at your wedding. No secular music. If you have any doubts, do not hesitate to contact the priest.

The amount of money you spend on your wedding day is your own choice. The Church only asks that the couple and two witnesses be present with the priest. However, it is customary to make a donation to the celebrant, sacristan and the altar servers.

Please note that the following items are not permitted in the church or its grounds: cigarettes, chewing gum, flower petals, confetti, candles on the aisles, rice, balloons, bubbles etc. When issuing invitations we encourage you to draw the attention of your guests to these guidelines. Mobile phones must be switched OFF in the church.

Wedding Rehersals

Rehearsals usually take place 2 to 3 days prior to the wedding at a time that is mutually agreeable between the couple, the priest and the church. The wedding rehearsal can be booked by telephoning the Parochial House and usually takes place immediately before (i.e. 6pm) or directly after (i.e. 8pm) evening Mass on a weekday.

Ceremony

The Ceremony will begin at the time arranged so it is important that everyone arrives on time. This allows for maximum time for your wedding. There may be other events in the Long Tower after your wedding e.g. another wedding, baptisms etc. Your booking is from 15 minutes before the time of the wedding to 1 hour afterwards e.g. 1.00pm wedding – 12.45 pm to 2.00 pm. The Long Tower has a busy schedule with many events each day. Late arrival causes a knock-on effect that upsets everyone.

Photographs

Most wedding photographers and videographers are professional, reverent and discreet. We simply ask that they refrain from using extra lights or delaying the arrival of the bride, and that they limit their movements during the Mass.

Flowers

Three Patrons does not require flowers to make it beautiful; therefore we encourage simplicity in floral arrangements. If you wish to have some flowers you may contact our parish flower arranger, Patricia McCormack (7135 4606). She will advise and give details of the cost. Floral decorations which are attached to the seats (by tie-bows not sticky tape or tacks) should be remove immediately after the ceremony.

Music

The Wedding Ceremony takes place within a liturgical context. Liturgy is public worship before God and so the music you choose for your wedding must reflect the sacredness of the event and be fitting for worship. It is important, therefore, that the music you choose is worthy of such a celebration and that the lyrics acknowledge the presence of Christ, the Unseen Guest, at your wedding. No secular music. If you have any doubts, do not hesitate to contact the priest.

Money

The amount of money you spend on your wedding day is your own choice. The Church only asks that the couple and two witnesses be present with the priest. However, it is customary to make a donation to the celebrant, sacristan and the altar servers.

Care for the Church

Please note that the following items are not permitted in the church or its grounds: cigarettes, chewing gum, flower petals, confetti, candles on the aisles, rice, balloons, bubbles etc. When issuing invitations we encourage you to draw the attention of your guests to these guidelines. Mobile phones must be switched OFF in the church.

Finally, we celebrate your love for each other. We very much encourage you to pray together daily and attend Mass every Sunday. This will be the sustenance of your engagement and your marriage. We wish you God’s choicest blessings all the days of your life.

Wedding Readings

You may choose one Old Testament and one New Testament reading or two New Testament readings. The Responsorial Psalm comes after the first reading. If you prefer to use different readings do not hesitate to ask the priest to help you.

Choose A First Reading

A reading from the Book of Genesis

God said, ‘Let us make a man in our own image, in the likeness of ourselves, and let them be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven, the cattle, all the wild beasts and all the reptiles that crawl upon the earth’.

God created man in the image of himself, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them.

God blessed them. Saying to them, ‘Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and conquer it. Be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven and all living animals on the earth’. God saw all he had made, and indeed it was very good.

This is the word of the Lord.

A reading from the Book of Genesis

The Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helpmate.’ So from the soil the Lord God fashioned all the wild beasts and all the birds of heaven. These he brought to the man to see what he would call them; each one was to bear the name the man would give it. The man gave names to all the cattle, all the birds of heaven and all the wild beasts. But no helpmate suitable for man was found for him. So the Lord made the man fall into a deep sleep. And while he slept, he took one of his ribs and enclosed it in the flesh. The Lord God built the rib he had taken from the man into woman, and brought her to the man.

The man exclaimed: ‘This at last is bone from my bones, and flesh from my flesh! This is to be called woman, for this was taken from man.’

This is why a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one body.

This is the word of the Lord

A Reading from the Book of Tobit

On the evening of their marriage, Tobias said to Sarah, ‘You and I must pray and petition our Lord to win his grace and his protection’. They began praying for protection, and this was how he began:

“You are blessed, O God of our fathers;

blessed, too, is your name

for ever and ever.

Let the heavens bless you

And all things you made

For evermore.

It was you who created Adam,

You who created Eve his wife

To be his help and support;

And from these two the human race was born.

It was you who said,

‘It is not good that the man should be alone;

Let us make him a helpmate like himself’.

And so I do not take my sister

for any selfish motive;

I do it in singleness of heart.

Be kind enough to have pity on her and on me

And bring us to old age together’.

And together they said, ‘Amen, Amen’.

This is the word of the Lord.

A reading from the book of Ruth

Ruth said, “Do not ask me to abandon or forsake you! For wherever you go I will go,
wherever you lodge I will lodge, your people shall be my people, and your God my
God. Wherever you die I will die, and there be buried. May the Lord do so and so to
me, and more besides, if nothing but death separates me from you!”

This is the word of the Lord.

Choose A Second Reading

A Reading from the Letter of St Paul to the Romans

With God on our side who can be against us? Since God did not spare his own Son, but gave him up to benefit us all, we may be certain, after such a gift, that he will not refuse anything he can give. Could anyone accuse those that God has chosen?

When God acquits, could anyone condemn? Could Christ Jesus? No! He not only stands and pleads for us – he rose from the dead, and there at God’s right hands he stands and pleads for us.

Nothing therefore can come between us and the love of Christ, even if we are troubled or worried, or being persecuted, or lacking food or clothes, or being threatened or even attacked. These are the trials through which we triumph, by the power of him who loved us.

For, I am certain of this: neither death or life, no angel, no prince, nothing that exists, nothing still to come, not any power, or height or depth, nor anything created thing can ever come between us and the love of God made visible in Christ Jesus Our Lord.

This is the Word of the Lord.

A reading from the letter of St. Paul to the Romans.

Think of God’s mercy, my brothers, and worship him, I beg you, in a way that is worthy of thinking beings, by offering your living bodies as a holy sacrifice, truly pleasing to God. Do not model yourselves on the behaviour of the world around you, but let your behaviour change, modelled by your new mind. This is the only way to discover the will of God and know what is good, what it is that God wants, what is the perfect thing to do.

Do not let your love be a pretence, but sincerely prefer good to evil. Love each other as much as brothers should, and have a profound respect for each other. Work for the Lord with untiring effort and with great earnestness of spirit. If you have hope, this will make you cheerful. Do not give up if trials come; and keep on praying. If any of the saints are in need you must share with them; and you should make hospitality you special care.

This is the Word of the Lord.

A reading from the first letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians.

Be ambitious for the higher gifts. And I am going to show you a way that is better than any of them.

If I have all the eloquence of men or of angels, but speak without love, I am simply a gong booming or a cymbal clashing. If I have the gift of prophecy, understanding all the mysteries there are, and knowing everything, and if I have faith in all its fullness, to move mountains, but without love, then I am nothing at all. If I give away all that I possess, piece by piece, and if I let them take my body to burn it, but am without love, it will do me no good whatever.

Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous; love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offence, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.

This is the Word to the Lord.

A reading from the letter of St. Paul to the Ephesians.

Follow Christ by loving as he loved you, giving himself up in our place. Give way to one another in obedience to Christ. Wives should regard their husbands as they regard the Lord. Husbands should love their wives just as Christ loved the Church and sacrificed himself for her to make her holy. He made her clean by washing her in water with a form of words, so that when he took her to himself she would be glorious, with no speck or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and faultless.

For this reason, a man must leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one body. This mystery has many implications; but I am saying it applies to Christ and the Church. To sum up; you too, each one of you, must love his wife as he loves himself; and let every wife respect her husband.

This is the Word to the Lord.

 

 

A reading from the letter of St. Paul to the Colossians.

You are God’s chosen race, his saints; he loves you, and you should be clothed in sincere compassion, in kindness and humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another; forgive each other as soon as a quarrel begins. The Lord has forgiven you; now you must do the same. Over all these clothes, to keep them together and complete them, put on love. And may the peace of Christ reign in your hearts, because it is for this that you were called together as parts of one body. Always be thankful.

Let the message of Christ, in all its richness, find a home with you. Teach each other, and advise each other, in all wisdom. With gratitude in your hearts sing psalms and hymns and inspired songs to God and never say or do anything except in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

The word of the Lord.

A reading from the first letter of St. John

My dear people,
let us love one another
since love comes from God
and everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.
Anyone who fails to love can never have known God,
because God is love.
God’s love for us was revealed
when God sent into the world his only Son
so that we could have life through him;
that is the love I mean:
not our love for God,
but God’s love for us when he sent his Son
to be the sacrifice that takes our sins away.
My dear people,
since God has loved us so much,
we too should love one another.
No one has ever seen God;
but as long as we love one another
God will live in us
and his love will be complete in us.
The word of the Lord.

Choose Your Declaration of Consent

Priest:

I invite you then to declare before God and his Church your consent to become husband and wife.

Bridegroom:

Name, Do you consent to be my wife?

Bride:

I do. Do you, Name, consent to be my husband?

Bridegroom:

I do. I take you as my wife and I give myself to you as your husband.

Bride:

I take you as my husband and I give myself to you as your wife.

They join hands and say together:

To love each other truly

For better, for worse,

For richer, for poorer,

In sickness and in health,

All the days of our lives.

When the bride and bridegroom have given their consent the priest says:

What God joins together man must not separate.

May the Lord confirm the consent that you have given and enrich you with his blessings.

Priest:

I invite you then to declare before God and his Church your consent to become husband and wife.

They join hands

Bridegroom:

I, Name, take you, Name, as my wife,

For better, for worse,

For richer, for poorer,

In sickness and in health,

All the days of our lives.

Bride:

I, Name, take you, Name, as my husband,

For better, for worse,

For richer, for poorer,

In sickness and in health,

All the days of our lives.

When the bride and bridegroom have given their consent the priest says:

Priest:

What God joins together man must not separate. May the Lord confirm the consent that you have given and enrich you with his blessings.

Priest:

I invite you then to declare before God and his Church your consent to become husband and wife.

They join hands. The priest then asks the bridegroom:

Priest:

Name, do you take Name, as your wife,

For better, for worse,

For richer, for poorer,

In sickness and in health,

All the days of your life?

Bridegroom:

I do.

The priest then asks the bride:

Priest:

Name, do you take Name, as your husband,

For better, for worse,

For richer, for poorer,

In sickness and in health,

All the days of your life?

Bride:

I do.

Priest:

What God joins together man must not separate. May the Lord confirm the consent that you have given and enrich you with his blessings.

Priest:

I invite you then to declare before God and his Church your decision to become husband and wife.

Bridegroom:

Name, do you consent to be my wife?

Bride:

I do. Name, do you consent to be my husband?

Bridegroom:

I do.

They join hands and say together:

We take each other as husband and wife and

promise to love each other truly

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health, all the days of our lives.

Priest:

The Lord has joined you together. May he fulfill his blessing in you; may he keep you in his love.

Sample - Prayer of the Faithful

  1. For N. and N. that the Lord who has brought them to this happy day will keep them forever in fidelity and love.

Lord hear us.

  1. For the parents of N. and N., for their friends and all who have helped them to become husband and wife.

Lord hear us.

  1. That the Lord may bless the world with his peace and the protection of his love.

Lord hear us.

  1. For married couples everywhere that their lives will be an example to the world of unity, fidelity and love.

Lord hear us.

  1. For the faithful departed and especially for those who we, ourselves, have loved, (remembering in particular ……..) that God will one day unite us again in the joys of our eternal home.

Lord hear us.

Sample - Prayer of the Newly Married Couple

We thank you, Lord, and we praise you

for bringing us to this happy day.

You have given us to each other.

Now, together, we give ourselves to you.

We ask you, Lord:

make us one in our love,

keep us one in your peace.

Protect our marriage.

Bless our home.

Make us gentle.

Keep us faithful.

And when life is over

unite us again where parting is no more

in the kingdom of your love.

There we will praise you

in the happiness and peace

of our eternal home.

Amen.

Planning Your Wedding